RECOVERATI

Tag: Alcoholism

Entitlement is a Warm Gun

A Friendly Wager Let’s assume that this is the first and ONLY pandemic of our lifetime. It’s a stretch, I know. So far, COVID-19 is the first and ONLY instance in modern history where every single person ON THE PLANET is experiencing the same thing. Of course, we can’t all live how the “Haves” would. ...

What a Time to Be Alive

Stranger Than Fiction I made it 1/4 of the way through Gabriel García Márquez’s novel Love in the Time of Cholera before I set my copy down never to return to it again. I mispronounced cholera for the duration of my time between those covers. The way I said it, ignorance sounded like ko-LEH-rah. I don’t do ...

Don’t Look Down

Tip Toe / Chokehold My wedding shoes were five inches tall, making me a five-foot-nine bride. I chose the shoes before the dress becuase I despise trying on clothes. When I settled on electric blue shoes, the splash of color and tradition were all I wanted to see. It wasn’t until I stood at such ...

Hands to Pants Combat

It was during my first weekend as a co-ed I discovered how to get rid of the spins. When I engaged in furious making out and/or heavy petting, I became distracted from the disco ball in my head long enough to fight back nausea. This amounted to many nights twisted up in sheets, learning to ...

This Thing of Ours

I’ve never read Dante’s Inferno, but I can personally testify to its veracity– there is more than one layer of hell to visit alone. The progression of my alcoholism was swift and perfunctory. The first time I got drunk, I blacked out. It was then that I smoked my inagural cigarette–a Marlboro Light–after which I ...

Whitney-Houston-1991-billboard

A Tale of Two Drug Epidemics: The Black and White Grey Area

As a feminist, I care about two things: Who gets heard and How. As a sober person, I care enough to do something about it. Lately, I’ve been troubled with thoughts about the opioid crisis in America. I share the deep sympathy and outrage of our populous for victims of mass addiction. Big Pharma, like ...

illustration

Cent’Anni! (But I’ll take Two Years)

A traditional Italian toast–“Cent’Anni!”–blesses the toastee with wishes to live 100 years. I’ve walked this earth made from a colorful mixture of Italian, Scottish, English, German, Scottish and French stock, never having toasted much of anything (with the exception of my twin at her wedding. But not before I got into the champagne). I jumped ...

Bowie

Give Me Your Hands ‘Cos You’re Wonderful

The last thing my father did before he died was play a flute solo in church. Power move. He was an atheist who frequented our Episcopalian church with the simple excuse to play music for people. He ended on a high note–literally–collapsing against a piano. He felt no pain. He would elicit no such drama. “Atheist Dies in Church, Performs Final Solo,” read the headline ...

Fuck-22

Friday is a special day for me–let’s call it Fucking Friday. I couldn’t sleep last night (surprise) so I trolled the internet because that’s one of the things I do best. At the 5am golden hour, I received a text message from the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with tonight. ...

boxing

TKO.

HOLY WHAAAAAT. I am one year and one day sober. F^&$)?:@^{%~*<‘@!,;”#=+£€•}! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. The most important thing I can say here (that is not an expletive) is thank you. Thank you to every single person who made themselves available to help me. Thank you to those who allowed me to be a part ...