Flames

This Thing of Ours

I’ve never read Dante’s Inferno, but I can personally testify to its veracity– there is more than one layer of hell to visit alone. The progression of my alcoholism was swift and perfunctory. The first time I got drunk, I blacked out. It was then that I smoked my inagural cigarette–a Marlboro Light–after which I ...

Knives with ornaments hanging from them

Five Ways to Celebrate Holidays Sane and Sober

Who says we can’t be truly charitable with our party personalities during the holidays? One thing I always keep in mind by the time Thanksgiving rolls around is that I have a lot to bring to the season. I don’t need to sway clumsily over the stove, slurring my words as I forget to add ...

Chocolate Christmas calendar

Chocolate Calenders

The first Christmas I spent entirely drunk was in Florida. Coincidentally, Florida was the last place I was drunk for the holidays. In 2013, I visited my twin and brother-in-law in Miami. I cornered her after I downed two vodka sodas to demand an explanation and an apology for why she never visited me. I ...

Petting Roberta

Dog, Interrupted

“Nice to meet you, Lucy, that’s my dog’s name!” For years now, this is how conversations with people I’ve never met have started. It is the reason I now know that “Lucy” is the most popular female dog’s name in the world. The world. I can’t say that I hate it. People love their dogs, thereby ...

PWD Gemini

Free Spirit

I’ve been referred to as a “free spirit” by no less than ten people in my lifetime. The first time I heard it, I bristled. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I snarled. The first guy who made this observation was, by all accounts, a Grade A Douchebag, so I shrugged it off. He and ...

Whitney-Houston-1991-billboard

A Tale of Two Drug Epidemics: The Black and White Grey Area

As a feminist, I care about two things: Who gets heard and How. As a sober person, I care enough to do something about it. Lately, I’ve been troubled with thoughts about the opioid crisis in America. I share the deep sympathy and outrage of our populous for victims of mass addiction. Big Pharma, like ...

Two towels on the beach at Venice

The L.A.w of Diminishing Returns

My husband and I made a big decision last week. Other than agreeing on what apartment we wanted as our first together, where we went on our honey moon and how we spend our money, this decision is the biggest ticket item to date. I haven’t shared what we decided with many people because I ...

Flo Jo crossing the finish line

Stay.

In high school, my sister and I ran cross-country and track. She was the prodigious sprinter, while I was the patient long-distance runner. The amount of comparisons I made between myself and my twin were alarming–her smaller BMI and legs, for starters–disqualified me from being a “real” runner. I opted for the inconspicuous art of ...

Janelle Monae posing

Cruel Ruby

Anxiety is a cheap trick. I admit I get a high when I feel the wheels in my mind turning, churning and burning for resolution to untold fear. My adrenaline revs up and I feel hyper-aware. However, I don’t usually realize until it’s too late that my body has already decided that the Sky is ...

misty mountains

Pura Vida for Two

We started our luna de miel with a missed connection in Atlanta. There were tears–there were many tears. But they dried when the compassionate man at Delta’s customer service counter upgraded our seats to First Class. He got us on the last flight of the day leaving for San Jose, Costa Rica. The subsequent eight-hour layover resulted ...